I will not be going to Coachella this year. Instead, I will be back at home sadly missing all my favorite bands performing in one location. My hip friends will all come back and smugly state "I was there!"and "It was Amazing!" as we share PBR tall boys. I was never a big fan of colossal music festivals to begin with and there's so many lame rules that go along with these events. Here are a few "NOs!" straight from the Coachella website:
NO Blankets! *Great! Now there's nothing between my tired ass and a ground marinated in mud/piss/cum/shit/blood/etc.
NO Outside Food & Bev! *This occurs at every festival everywhere. They want you to buy $2 bottled water. The beer will probably cost $8-$10.
NO Flags! *This is a bizarre rule! What if I want to wave my freak flag? Fuck You Coachella Fascists!
NO Tailgating in Parking Lots! *This is where the REAL partying occurs and where you can get drugs!
NO Stuffed Animals! *This is another weird rule. what if I want to toss a stuffed cat at Bethany Cosentino?
Bethany Cosentino of Best Coast and Snacks the Cat
NO Drugs & Drug Paraphernalia! *I don't want to live in a world where music festivals and drugs cannot meet and greet. Call me old-fashioned!
Here's a breakdown of artists/bands that I would try to catch:
ARIEL PINK'S HAUNTED GRAFFITI
Big Audio Dynamite
Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears
Here We Go Magic
Jenny and Johnny
THE BLACK KEYS
The Chemical Brothers
The Joy Formidable
THE LONDON SUEDE
The New Pornographers
The Pains of Being Pure At Heart
The Radio Dept.
If I didn't mention your favorite band, try me why they are relevant. Have a Great Time and don't take the brown acid!