Monday, June 6, 2011

Top 6 Vocalists That Would Be Great To Sing For Explosions In The Sky

So, I was going to write an in-depth critique and review of the latest Explosions In The Sky album, 'Take Care, Take Care, Take Care' that would describe all the peaks and valleys of their shifting instrumentals through my filter of award winning wit and wry, but I quickly became disarmed at the thought that I was never given an award for anything in the literary world. The world's loss, really. Besides, several popular music magazines have already summed up EITS's sound in fragmented praise, such as "a masterpiece that flows brilliantly" from MAGNET, or "a post-modern work of true art" from Filter, or "true masters of their craft" from Mojo. I started to wonder if any popular music magazine would ever dare say "if they had a vocalist, this wouldn't just be background music." Now, here at Temporary Rough Venom, I will break down the top 6 vocalists that would be great to sing for Explosions In The Sky. Starting with...

6) Jim Morrison

Jim already has the hipster beard in effect.
I can hear people already snickering, "Mike, have you lost your mind? don't you know that Jim Morrison has been dead for like 40 years!" and my response would be, "Now's a great time for Jim to come out of hiding and quit the Eddie and the Cruisers act." Explosions In The Sky would definitely benefit with a dead poet's vocal describing what it's like being dead or longing for a second life. Jim would even boost EITS's sex appeal by a thousand and they would all be shagging an endless supply of fresh tang at whatever recreation center in a college town they end up playing. Also, during interviews, Jim Morrison could just answer all questions with "It's Just Art, Man!" and smash a wine bottle on the floor and leap around with his schlong dangling out.

5) Kim Gordon
Nice legs, Kim!

Since Thurston Moore has been busy recording his third solo album and hanging out with Beck, Sonic Youth is probably taking a little break. There should be no reason for the original "Kool Thing" Kim to take on side projects and EITS would be a great band to utter quotable word fragments in a breathy come-hither style similar to anything Sonic Youth ever wrote. Kim wouldn't even need to bring her bass guitar. She could just be a front woman that stares into the crowd and everyone would love it, because Kim Gordon is one of the coolest people ever.

4) Piper from Puro Instinct
Arguably, the prettiest lips in music today.

Okay, Piper already sings in the new buzzband, Puro Instinct with her 16 year old sister, Skylar, but after the touring is over and the Fall starts up again, Skylar would have to finish high school and will need to take a break from the band to concentrate on studying. Poor Piper will need an outlet somewhere, so why not lend her angelic voice to accompany the ebb and flow of the song structures of Explosions In The Sky? She's easy on the eyes and could still keep the rock dream alive until her sister graduates. A win/win for everyone!

3) Bilinda Butcher
Whenever Bilinda walks into a room, it really looks this swirly.

I've been waiting for too long for a new My Bloody Valentine album to appear. At least MBV got together for a reunion and decided to make a new generation of music fans deaf by performing a string of shows. Since Kevin Shields is probably still busy dialing in his guitar pedals and hiring and firing 20 different sound engineers, Bilinda could sneak out the studio back door and go on a quick tour with Explosions In The Sky. She wouldn't even have to bring her guitar because Kevin would probably be dialing in the pedals for that also. After the tour is over, she could sneak right back in the studio and Kevin would finally look up from the ground and say, "There! That's The Sound For The New Album!"

2) Yoko Ono

This would be the most avant garde collaboration of anyone on the list. Old music fans, especially Beatles fans, would immediately hate this decision and mark the occasion as the beginning of the end for Explosions In The Sky. Other younger fans with rebellious attitudes probably hate the Beatles and their fans and may think this would be the coolest, most relevant thing to happen to indie rock. Yoko could make her comeback with a buzzband and introduce a new generation to her nonconventional vocal stylings. Of course, this collaboration could result in something completely unlistenable but it would be a nice middle finger to the music mainstream. 

1) Damo Suzuki
"YeeeeeeeeeeeARGH! BloGRA! Bloggy Bloggy Blog!"
This would be the ultimate collaboration of indie buzzband and legend. The man most famous for being one of the singers in the avant garde kraut band CAN could catapult Explosions In The Sky from the underground to almost breaking the ground surface. A thousand cool points would be awarded and snobby record store clerks everywhere would simultaneously say this is one of the best musical match ups in the 21st century. Damo wouldn't even have to practice with Explosions In The Sky. He could just show up and mutter things into the microphone and everyone would love it. He's so avant garde, he might even accept tooth picks or saw dust for payment. How cool is that?


Of course, Explosions In The Sky do not need a vocalist and their instrumental music is a testament to their unique talents. Check out their latest album, "Take Care, Take Care, Take Care" for this evidence. If you have any ideas or suggestions of a vocalist for EITS, please list them in the comments.

- Mike


  1. Kim's looking a little rough but her legs are only 18 years old. How does she do that?